A young Marine officer was in a serious car accident, but the only visible permanent injury was to both of his ears, which were amputated. Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained in the Corps and eventually rose to the rank of General. He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance.

One day the General was interviewing three Marines for his personal aide. The first was a jet jockey, which was a great interview. At the conclusion the General asked him, 'Do you notice anything different about me?' The young officer answered, 'Why, yes, sir. I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears.' The general got very angry at the lack of tact and threw him out.

The second interview was with a female Lieutenant. The General asked her the same question, 'Do you notice anything different about me?' She replied, 'Well, sir, you have no ears.' The General threw her out, also.

The third interview was with a Marine Gunnery Sergeant. He was articulate, looked extremely sharp and seemed to know more than the two officers combined. The General wanted this guy. He asked the same question, 'Do you notice anything different about me?' The Gunny said, 'Yes, sir. You wear contact lenses.'

The General was very impressed, and thought: what an incredibly observant Gunny, and he didn't mention my ears. 'And how do you know that I wear contacts,' the General asked?

The sharp-witted Gunny replied, 'Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no fuckin' ears.'